Today, we talk about domestic violence. A wife has the right to report her husband for rape if he simply takes what he married her for. Not everywhere, but in almost all European countries. Yet, some of us older still remember laws that made the husband the master of the house and granted him the right to discipline his wife. Today, that seems almost unimaginable. For our ancestors, it was perfectly normal.
My grandfather was one of those who ruled his family with an iron fist, as was common even in the 1940s. Punctuality was mandatory, including for family meals. Anyone who arrived late to eat didn’t even get a seat and had to forgo the meal. There was no arguing with him. Anyone who contradicted Father received a swift and decisive smack behind the ears, and that was the end of it.
Grandpa was a shoemaker and had seven children under his thumb: four boys and three girls. On Saturday afternoons, he would throw all the family shoes into the yard and decide who had to clean them. If one of the children brought home bad grades, all hell broke loose. The girls usually burst into tears on their way home from school. The boys faced their inevitable fate with stoic silence. Father expected diligence and good grades. And anyone who failed to meet these expectations was grounded for three weeks.
But first, a sound thrashing was in order. With a leather strap, of course, as befitted a shoemaker.
Incidentally, he didn’t just repair shoes. He also made the straps that practically every child in town felt the sting of regularly. And quite a few wives, too.
Back then, the neighbors would nod in agreement when loud shouting reached their ears from the neighboring house. No one even considered violence at the time, because what was happening was perfectly normal well into the 1960s. „Those who won’t listen must feel,“ was the saying, and every father, every teacher, and every employer knew it. And of course, every child, whether they were two or twenty.
But, as I said, back then the man was the master of the house, and his word was law. This rule certainly wasn’t limited to the children, but also applied to his wife. Until the beginning of the 20th century, the wife, like all female domestic staff, was subject to the master’s authority. And this right was generally interpreted very broadly. The master of the house could not only issue his own rules, which were binding for everyone in the house and practically had the status of law, but he could also exercise his right to discipline as he saw fit.
While many masters of the house did have dominion over those living in their homes, they generally had no interest in personally dealing with every incident. If there were several servants in the house, it was usually the housekeeper’s job to maintain discipline and order among them. This often involved the use of a cane, applied to the clothed or bare buttocks, depending on the age of the person concerned. An occasional shriek from the kitchen was therefore not uncommon in posh homes.
The governess, who ranked directly below the lady of the house, was naturally responsible for the younger children. She instilled in the children from an early age the understanding that no transgression would go unpunished. If one of the children misbehaved, the governess was usually blamed for not having adequately attended to their upbringing. She was therefore very keen to please her employers and ruled with an iron fist, relying not only on strict orders and stern admonitions, but above all on the frequent use of a cane, rod, or leather strap.
However, once puberty began, the governess’s role usually changed. The prevailing view was that a pubescent girl needed the strict guidance of her mother and the firm hand of her father. While the father rarely took over her daily upbringing and did not concern himself with everyday reprimands, he was summoned for more serious offenses that required particularly severe punishment. For this to happen, a woman was considered too compliant, and the generally accepted rule was that a rebellious girl had to be disciplined by the head of the household himself.
Although prudish times prevailed back then, when it came to administering a proper beating, restraint quickly vanished. A leather strap or the switch, still commonly used at the time, only showed its full effect when the target was the sinner’s bare buttocks. So, it meant removing the skirt or dress, pulling the panties down to the back of the knees, and striking hard. This was quite justified, because only on bare skin could the disciplinarian clearly assess whether the blows were having the desired effect. At the latest when the first welts opened and small drops of blood appeared, most fathers stopped and left the humiliated girl to her fate.
A disciplinarian of that time was therefore always well-informed about the physical development of a pubescent girl. No one questioned this, whether it was the teacher, the governess, the mother, or the father. The latter, through this indiscretion, also gained certainty about when it was gradually becoming time for their marriage.
But not only girls, but also boys were subjected to corporal punishment by parents and educators well into the 1960s. Many a teenager received his last beating the day before his wedding, while with boys, the use of the cane for discipline was largely discontinued as they grew older. And if it was used, the blows were delivered to the clothed buttocks, because it was simply not considered proper for a young man to expose his backside in front of his father or mother.
In some families, it was also customary for the punishment of more serious offenses to be carried out in the presence of all family members. The older boys thus received an early impression that a woman must be strictly controlled and that even as a future husband, one shouldn’t hold back on beatings. This is a custom that today exists almost exclusively in the Muslim world. There, older brothers feel a real responsibility for their younger sisters and don’t hesitate to punish them if they prove rebellious.
Although young men of earlier generations were also known for keeping a close eye on their sisters. Any serious transgression was immediately reported to the father. Not to uphold the family’s honor, as is the case with Muslims, but to witness the punishment of the sister in question, who was naked from the waist down and, for male eyes, quite a sight to behold.
A woman writhing under her master’s blows has always been an arousing sight.