The term BDSM actually only exists in the western world. And even there it is only known to a few people. There is a very simple reason for this: In the supposedly civilized West, sex is talked about openly and there is no intersexual topic that you can’t read about somewhere. But there are also stubborn taboos. Things that are not talked about, that are not done, that are not politically correct and about which you are only allowed to say what is accepted opinion.

Anyone who takes the liberty to disagree quickly runs the risk of being denounced or put in the right corner.

Anyone who dares to reject the currently prevailing permissive parenting cult and says so openly will realize this. The least he can expect is an indignant shake of the head when he openly admits that a pat on the bottom is a natural part of his upbringing at home. He is met with widespread incomprehension when it becomes known that there is even a cane at home that is not just hanging on the wall for decoration. In the worst case scenario, the youth welfare office will get in touch at some point and want to find out whether the „welfare of the child“ is at risk or whether there is even a case of child abuse.

In other countries – in fact in all of Asia, Africa and South America – this behavior only elicits incredulous shaking of heads. A child needs to be disciplined and for this a father needs a cane, a leather strap or some other instrument that is customary in his region. How else is he supposed to effectively maintain discipline and order in his house?

The truth is that in the vast majority of countries around the world, nothing has changed for centuries when it comes to parenting. There, a disobedient daughter will inevitably have tears in her eyes and welts on her body if she misbehaves. This is a simple fact that was never questioned in this country two or three generations ago. The grandfather knows it, the father practices it and the son and daughter experience it whenever there is cause for punishment. However, practically no father distinguishes between a son and a daughter. On the contrary, a daughter is expected to be particularly humble and obedient. And it is not uncommon for her to be punished particularly harshly if she shows signs of rebellion.

Three or more generations ago, the term BDSM simply didn’t exist. And why would it? An unruly teenager was tied up (bondage) as a matter of course if he was otherwise unwilling to accept the punishment due. The same applied to a wife who constantly refused her husband or did things behind his back that required punishment. And it has always been taken for granted that the man took the active role (dominance). After all, he was responsible for his family and occasionally had to take a firm stance if a family member simply did not want to play ball. Men have an innate tendency or at least a willingness to use violence (sadism). Women, on the other hand, tend to give in and are equipped with a sometimes unimaginable willingness to endure injustice and accept male violence (masochism).

After all, it has always been like this and there should be no illusions, because it is still like this in the vast majority of countries in the world today.

In ancient times, every master was the absolute ruler over his own. If a slave showed reluctance, she was simply stripped naked and a few moments later found herself with her hands stretched upwards and bound to receive a proper lesson with the whip. It was not much different for a recalcitrant daughter, wife or concubine. Women had to obey and if they didn’t, they had to suffer the consequences.

Rough customs prevailed in the Middle Ages too and there was probably no female who was not brought up with the rod or the hazelnut cane. For particularly bad cases, there was the pillory where, for example, a rebellious maid was put on display after she had been thoroughly chastised. Whores were commonplace, but if one of them was caught, they were beaten and punished. Even then they were beaten, and not too severely.

Even in the noble world of the aristocracy, women were regularly given a severe beating and a noble lady-in-waiting had the same respect for her noble lord as a daughter had for her father or teacher. A practice that lasted for centuries and was considered completely normal and God-given. A gentleman didn’t need a BDSM club back then. After all, he had a wife who he had to keep obedient and devoted. And at least one daughter who constantly demanded to feel the rod of discipline.

However, most men over the centuries were probably completely unaware that the need to crack down sometimes had an erotic aspect to it. In an 18th century novella, you can read that the master of the house first laid a negligent housemaid across the kitchen table in order to work her bare bottom with a riding crop, before returning to his wife, aroused and with a hard member, in order to cool off before his afternoon nap.

That’s just male nature and even philosophizing psychologists and ideologizing politicians won’t be able to change that.